This is not like my usual posts. However, I am not my usual self. I have gone through some pretty tough times and it has left me pretty traumatized. I have been abused in the passed first by my stepfather, and then by an ex-boyfriend who did time in jail for hitting me. This time I didn’t even realize I was living it. There is more to domestic abuse than being hit. Although I was hit, words and actions are far worse. A past relationship of mine, the man fought with me like an attorney. Picture yourself on a witness stand being questioned by the other person’s attorney and they are not letting you finish your sentence, and twisting your words. That is what it was like to fight with him. But that is not domestic violence. He is a bully! He would back me into corners or against a wall, stand behind my car, so I couldn’t leave. If I was on the bed or the couch, push me back down so I couldn’t stand up and he could stand above me. Just writing about it and remembering hurts and has me shaking. There were no discussions in our house, just fights. NOW I am far from innocent. I am a pain in the ASS! However, that does not give anyone the right to treat you like this. Let me add this as well. I am going to capitalize this sentence, so whoever is reading it gets it! IF YOU ASK THAT ABUSIVE PERSON A QUESTION SUCH AS, ARE YOU CHEATING, OR YOU ARE BEING INAPPROPRIATE WITH SO AND SO AND THEY GO BALLISTIC ON YOU. GUESS WHAT? GUILTY AS CHARGED!!!!!!!!!!!!! LISTEN DUMB ASSES YOU WOULDN’T BE SO UPSET IF IT WEREN’T TRUE!
Now I have to go to a support group and try and heal from all of this trauma that has been done to me. most often the person that has abused you doesn’t even know that they are, or would never admit to it. They usually are a narcissist as well. If you think you are in an abusive relationship, please call your local domestic violence number. Stark County 330-453-7233 talk to someone. I had no idea. Once I left I was able to see more of what was going on. How the trauma had affected me. I took a class for my job and I broke out in tears and I was shaking. It brought it all out.
Please get help!